Link's Grand Adventure
by SILVERxANDCOLDx
Summary: Link goes on a grand adventure in search for his love.


Link: Oh baby...that's the stuff.oh yeaaaahhh  
  
Reflection:...%_%  
  
~*~*LINKS GRAND ADVENTURE*~*~ One day Link woke up and thought "Hey I think ill go visit the love of my life, Peach!" So he skipped away towards the mushroom kingdom stage (where she most often hung out) with lust in his heart. After he fought numerous Yoshis, who were trying for some reason to keep him from going to mushroom kingdom, he arrived at Peach's castle. He saw a sight that made him see red. Peach was snogging with that fat plumber Mario! After severely beating "Fatso" and throwing a few curses his way he turned around dramatically towards Peach demanding an explanation. But he had forgotten to sheath his sword so when he turned around he had sent her off the cliff. Hearing her oh-so-sweet voice screaming brought tears to his eyes. How could the snog of his life cheat on him like that? Especially with that stumpy fellow. It didn't make sense. Right then he knew he had to get revenge on anyone and everyone who had obviously helped with this scheme. He knew that Peach would never cheat on him.with THAT at least. So he decided to find out who was behind all this.maybe Peach was brain washed. So he set off on his quest to avenge.his ego. On his way to his first destination he came across two little monkeys. Link screamed and decided that they were too ugly to live and killed them right there.Then he met their mom.or something.he quickly disposed of her..him..it.After an amazingly familiar maze that had his sword in it about 5 times ("Hmph! And they said it was an original! I should get a refund.") and barley escaping this ugly brown thing that seemed to be trying to rape him, he finally saw what he had been waiting for. *Hyrule Castle* "Hey Link! What's up?" Zelda said warmly spotting her long time friend Link. He gasped dramatically "You!" "Uhm, yes?" "You whore! I knew it was you who set this up! You've always been jealous of mine and Peach's relationship!" "Link I have no idea what your talking ab-ahhh!!!!!" For Link had just ended her sentence with a "Hiiii Yahh!" He remembered to sheath is sword this time and set off to find Samus, Zelda's closest friend besides Peach (well ex-closest). She had to have helped Zelda. That's just what girls do. They help each other. Link shook his head.chicks are so weird. *Brinstar* This time Link didn't even give Samus a chance to say hello. He immediately attacked her. Samus: *deep manly voice* You have 40 seconds to get out of my face, Link. Link: *scampers off* He really was scared of her. I mean, come on now, is it every day that a man robot that thinks it's a girl actually is GOOD at fighting? He thought about this the whole way climbing up. He barely made it in 40 seconds but that's what tights do to yah. *Green Greens* Link killed the whole colony of Kirbys. It was obvious that they had disguised them selves to be Peach! "Ah-Hah! A break through! Finally.maybe I can find more evidence." he mused very proud of himself by now. *Corneria* Link then found the Peach/Kirby's means of transportation.fox of course! His dumb ships weren't even that great anyway. After "dealing" with fox his "dumb little buddy" "picked a fight with him". "Link! Dude! Everyone says that your being really weird today.what's wrong?" Falco asked cautiously. "Ha! As if you didn't know!" Link replied spitefully leaving a bomb to deal with Falco as he continued on with his quest. *Pokemon Stadium* He actually couldn't find a reason why these little Pokemon would help with "the scheme". But they were annoying little buggers so he killed them anyway. *Mute City* It was just plain clear Captain F. had a crush on the-shag-of-his-life, I mean, who didn't? "Linky, baby! Show me your moves! I mean *cough* I don't have a crush on Peach!" He protested. "Isn't it obvious im gay? Think about.that rape-grab move I have.the pink suit.me dating Samus.it all adds up! I LIKE MEN!" Link thought about this for a moment. He had a very good point. But then Link thought of something "So your saying Peachy isnt good enough for you? Well queers deserve to die anyway!" and that was the end of that. *Onett* "Link, link, link! Whatcha doin? Huh huh huh?" that was all it took. Plus, ness was almost as bad as kirby. With his "Pika Fire, and Pika Samus". Who would wanna copy those freaks anyway? *Icicle Mountain* Popo: You like that, nana? Nana: right there. Link: *decides to just slowly back away* *Battlefield* Link couldn't find any evidence on those weird sguiggly things but he just knew that they knew but didn't inform him. He defined that as treason and "did away with them". Suddenly, Two metal things came flying from the sky. Link gasped. The perpetraitor himself! And he brought his brother! Now it was serious. They werent that difficult but the sad thing was luigi actually last longer then mario. *Final Destination* This is when our hero met up with Bowser. Need I say more? Link had been meaning to kick his ass for a while anyway. *Home* When link walked in the door he had a big surprise waiting! Peach was sitting on his couch! Peach: Where have you been Hun? I left you a message on your answering machine today. I told you I was out shopping all day and maybe we could get together later.Why do you have that look on your face? Link: Peachy? Were you with Mario today in mushroom kingdom? Peach: No, I told you I went shopping. Link: Why did Yoshis attack me when I went to go visit you? Peach: Oh! *giggle* I had them there so that Daisy and Mario could have some privacy! They're dating now didn't you know?" Link promptly fainted. From then on his only friends were Peach, and.young link.  
  
THE END! I dedicate this to Tania Aybar.why? Shut and don't question my authority ;)! 


End file.
